Phoenix Jones

Real-Life Superheroes

I condone vigilantes prowling our city streets in the night.

Self-professed "Crime Fighters", they seem to be quickly rising in popularity. But do they really fight crime?

Well, first we have to decide exactly what it means to 'fight crime'.

Do you have to beat up criminals to 'fight crime'? Do you have to be an expert at martial arts? Do you have to be feared and intimidating to 'fight crime'?

Not at all.

If you see a crime being committed, and you take out your cellphone and call the police, than you are inherently fighting crime. If you equip red and green latex tights, walk up to a crime-in-progress, hold out your hand and shout, "stop right there, criminal scum", and they take one look at you and start laughing, than you are still inherently fighting crime. It's your self-professed job to be what the city needs you to be, even if it is just a laughing stock, because you can be that hero. If you walk up to a crime-in-progress and purposely shit your pants, nauseating and freaking out the criminals, causing them to panic and flee, then hold your head up high, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You've done what you've set out to do. Fight crime.

It seems to me that anyone can be a superhero, as long as they take the necessary precautions. I don't advise it, but if the life of a masked vigilante appeals to you, know this: You do not need to fight to fight crime.

Some 'real-life superheroes'

http://registry.reallifesuperheroes.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcUvJBumFZo

back

When it rains, it pours

Father defends daughter with cerebral palsy: gets arrested for disorderly conduct

James Jones's daughter has cerebral palsy, and is bullied everyday on her bus to school. So James boards the bus and yells at and threatens her daughter's bullies.

He was later arrested for disorderly conduct.

Now people are discussing whether or not this is fair. Discussing whether or not he was out of place.

Well, of course not! If bullies EVER upset my daughter (RIP) I would tear their heads off. Anyone who thinks this man was out of place obviously has not had children. Because when you do have children, you know that you would do anything to protect them, even if it means threatening other children and getting arrested.

This man's daughter has cerebral palsy. He supposedly reported the bullying to the school, and they did nothing. But they should have done something even before this. What kind of f*cked in the head kids make fun of a girl, supposedly one time harassing her with a condom, who has cerebral palsy. If it was up to me I would say these kids need to be put down, because a person who could do that isn't human in my eyes. 

The parents that should be serving time are the parents of the bullies, who raised kids who had the immoral capacity to bully a defenseless girl with disabilities.

This whole case makes me sick to my stomach. Heres the video. What do you think? Was the father out of line?

The Truth

About the previous post. Many of you have asked in the comments whether or not it's true. 

It is. All of it is the truth.

But I'm not here to prove that, because it doesn't really matter if it's my truth, it matters if you make it your truth.

We define our own reality. If you don't want to believe my story, than it isn't true. Just as if you want to believe it, than it's the truth.

How I Came to Be

I will not nor will I ever reveal my true age in this blog.

I am older in years than you would ever consider by looking at me. I have traveled across the globe, meeting with wise men and sages in the most unlikely places.

My story is not unlike others you may have heard. About 20 years ago, I woke up. Bleeding from a huge gash on the side of my head, and waves crashing around my body. I woke up lost, without any recollection of who I was at all.

I found out since then that a man who may or may not have been my father was the first mate on a transatlantic shipping crew.

I traveled across the globe looking for answers. I was in Europe when I awoke, but I have traveled to many places since then and I now am preparing for my next journey across the Americas.

I have met with many sages, many men who I thought may have known me in a past life, but to no avail. But I stay with these men. They made me do chores, and sometimes they made me do nothing at all, except breathe. And when they felt I was ready to learn, they spoke. But sometimes they never spoke at all. But each and every master taught me volumes.

I learned to focus, and by focusing I learned to think. My mind was all but awakened-- the only door I could not open was the one door I've been trying to unlock. But I've learned to let that go. To make peace with the second chance I was given.

But these wise men taught me to think with rationality, to not judge without a fair outlook, to learn for myself, once again, the Right.

And so now, I learn of society once again. And it is possible you have seen me on the message boards. Because these message boards seem to me to be the sages of today. Of course, there are some inconsistencies, but dig hard enough and deep enough and you will undoubtedly find a pure white truth.

If you are looking for advice, and you are lost, consider this. Sit for a minute and just focus. When you feel relaxed, look at yourself and play out the next ten years of your life or so. Do those following ten years go where you want them to? Do you live the life you've always wanted?

If not, well, I have news for you. Those ten years happened. You have already lived those ten years. And you were miserable.

But you made a wish.

You wished that you could start over. And you sat up in bed all night with tears rolling down your face praying that you could go back, because if you could, you would do so much more in your life than you have.

And someone heard your wish. And they granted it. And this moment right now IS your second chance. Don't waste it! This is your second chance to go out and live the life you've always wanted-- because you will not get a third chance.

Everyone gets one. This is mine. And this is yours. Don't waste it.

Birds and Stones

There was once a man who killed two birds with one stone, and he thought, "Have I just increased the weapon value of a stone, or have I reduced a bird's life to something to be killed economically?"

There was once a man who killed a million birds with one plutonium stone, and he thought, "Now, I am my brother's keeper."

Said the second man to the first, "Neither, my brother. You have taught them fear."

Pickles Harms Families!

November 5th

remember remember the 5th of november
the gunpowder treason and plot
I know of no reason
why this gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot

Today is the day to remember that; if you choose one way, and that way is the right way according to your convictions of the right-- than it doesn't matter if the whole world thinks the opposite way-- hold your head up high, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Marijuana: GATEWAY DRUG?... sure whatever

I have a morbidly obese friend. When he was young, his mother made him sandwiches or sometimes buttered bread.

Which leads me to believe that either BREAD is a gateway food, or there is a little thing most human beings have called SELF RESTRAINT and they can choose what drugs they want to do and which ones they don't.

I quit smoking marijuana. Why? I don't know, I didn't want to smoke anymore. I was a pot head for a while but I stopped.

If one of the reasons people voted against prop 19 is because they think marijuana is a gateway drug... well, then I guess bread needs to be illegal too because it's a gateway food.

This site is unbelievably correct. And every single point they argue I can argue the same point for a food item:

http://www.marijuanaharmsfamilies.com/

I chose pickles.

This blog is now a Pickles Harm Families support blog.

In the upcoming few days I am going to do posts paralleling this site's evidence against marijuana with evidence against pickles instead.

Hopefully that parallel makes both pickles and marijuana illegal, or both pickles and marijuana free to be used freely and responsibly.

By the way, that site's contact number is: 916-265-5650 And their email is: office@savecalifornia.com

Tell them how smart they are.

Also, their address is:
P.O. Box 511
Sacramento, CA 95812
I've heard they've been craving some pizza...

Let the insanity commence.

Political Parties are the Exact Opposite of what Defines America

So reader, what would you like for dinner?

Dog food or Raw liver?

Don't forget that you're free to choose whichever you want.

You can say steak if you want to, but we can only serve one item for dinner, and unfortunately, most patrons have never heard of steak because it was not nearly as advertised as Dog food or Raw liver was, so choosing steak is just wasting your vote.

Now exercise your right as a free American!

*  *  *

The problem is, America is dumbing down for dumb Americans. Less choices is simpler. But America needs to realize that-- yes, all man is "created" equal. But their choices in life define who they are. And the highschool drop out is not equal to the successful family man. They made their choices in life, and America gives opportunity to those who seek it.

I understand that some people do have tougher lives than others, but sucks for them-- those few got dealt a bad hand, but I guarantee that someone from a worse situation has come back to be more than successful. America doesn't need to cater to these few with a plan that involves them and 99% pieces of shit.

Then there's the psychotic men and women who are easily swayed by shouted words and have no ability to listen to both sides of an argument and make a rational decision. They get an equal say as well? I wouldn't let these people babysit my dog, much less choose who runs my country.

The word "We" restricts freedom. Especially when you have no say whatsoever in this "We". Especially when the word "We" groups you with thousands of people you have nothing in common with.

I propose a solution. A test you must take to register to vote. You can retake it every 3 months as many times as you'd like, and your top 5 scores are averaged. The score you get on this test determines how much pull your vote has.

Also, abolish political parties. To run for president you must be able to at least give up 30 million dollars to the U.S. government and then you can only promote yourself with a maximum of 30 million more. You can get supporters using means you decide, and you can gather aids from people you know and trust.

America is not truly free. America is free as a baby is free inside a playpen.

Open the doors, America! Stop dumbing down the hardworking few for the idiotic many. Stop giving so many opportunities to people who don't even try or care. Stop restricting our choices! Let us be free! Only make illegal that which infringes on the rights of other Americans! You don't need to make laws to protect us from ourselves. Let the idiots kill themselves. Who cares? If they don't care about their life, then why do you?

The government should be opening doors, not carrying people from door to locked door.

The Solution to the Israel-Palestinian Conflict

...Is obvious. But I nor anyone else is allowed to say it.

Why?

It can be misconstrued as a violent act if done improperly, and if someone does this act, it will be lead back to the one person who may or may not have said this solution online and said person would get in a heap of trouble.

But on a completely unrelated, hypothetical note-- if I was a camp counselor, and two kids were fighting over the red firetruck, I wouldn't have them share it... That's an absurd solution because I know from their current behavior that they can't get along. Instead, I would just take it away.

But back to the subject at hand-- unfortunately I can't say what the obvious, albeit extreme solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict would be.

Actually I'm lying. I have no idea what the solution is, so I'm not implying anything from this arbitrary blog post. So if you read this, psychotic person, and come up with a solution that can be defined by "the end justifies the means," you came up with it on your own. Being inspired by this thoughtless, meaningless post is impossible.

Sometimes, people just need to let go of the past and move on, especially when the past is the direct cause for hundreds of needless deaths.

Life is the most sacred of all sacred, retards.

HALLOWEEN: A chapter 7 bankruptcy nightmare!

I live in a neighborhood with 20,000 kids.

Which means I obviously had to liquidate all my assets and file a chapter 7 bankruptcy (considered a chapter 11 but decided against it) to afford all that candy.

They kicked me out of my house, and out of the neighborhood, so now I'm stuck with nothing but 400 bags of candy to my name. (And my computer and anything else I would need to make this logically possible.)

I built a shelter, using the hard chewy candy like Sugar Daddys and Snickers as the roof, and built my bed out of 3 Musketeers, and built the walls with Twix. (To reader who just asked himself, "but how is he on the internet right now???" My ethernet is Twizzlers, you bastard.)

Which just goes to show that in life, you may encounter many scenarios that ask of you to become a martyr, and you are allowed to choose which one to accept.

I chose a horrible situation to prove myself a selfless person.

Some situations can be ignored for the greater good.

There is only gray area in life, because every good decision will affect someone negatively and every bad decision will affect someone positively.

When in doubt, remember to question yourself- like, "If I buy enough candy for just half the kids, obviously the skinny kids will get it all, while the fat kids lumber behind slowly, and those fatties really dont even need the candy, so everyone wins- except the fatties."

Wish I had done that. Because my roof is melting.

GOD

Believing in God is not like believing in Santa Clause nor like believing in the chair you're probably sitting in. By that I mean it's obvious one doesn't exist and the other does.

Considering God is omnipotent, and for that reason alone he can never be disproved, it's only fair to say that belief in God is nothing more than a choice.

Is there someone in the sky watching over us? Maybe, maybe not. But if someone was in the sky watching over you, guiding and protecting you-- would that bring you comfort and happiness?

Or does it bother you that, if God exists, that we wouldn't be the masters of our own destiny, that the belief that some people have of a God is only blinding them and preventing humanity as a race from evolving?

But it's a choice. Each and every one of us defines our own reality. It doesn't matter if someone else's science says that God probably doesn't exist, nor does it matter if someone says God absolutely must exist, it only matters what you decide, because when it comes down to it, reality is the most precarious of all supposed truths, considering people don't even question it's flaws.

We may have just started existing an hour ago, and everything we think we know is just implanted memories.

Or you may be the only person that really exists, and everyone else is just a projection of your subconscious. 

Or every single one of our thoughts was predetermined, like a script.

But those are all outrageous possibilities, but possibilities none-the-less because they can't be proven false.

So you can choose to believe any of those or anything else you'd want to.

So the question is: Do you want there to be a God?

And your answer to that question is the truth.

A recent study shows that a surprising amount of people read more than just the title of an article

A recent study (see my last article and the comments) proves that, although some people only read the title and comment, 92% of people read both the title and the article.

Another recent study shows that, although people do try to write blogs to make money, most writers are proud of their blogs, and when people comment just to get a comment back, without reading the article, they more often than not get a lame comment back or none at all.

So one can only assume that if someone writes an article, they intend for it to be read.

...except for this one

I LOVE RPGs!

It seems everyone talks about how much they love RPGs so I decided to make a post about it too.

I had no idea that they were so popular!

It's so cool to me, even though the Iraqis use them to injure American soldiers.

Not too long ago they fired an RPG-29 at an American M1 tank, they say the soldiers inside were fine but injured.

Incredible.

What are your guy's RPG stories? To be honest, I don't know as much about them as I would like.

TAKE AWAY DRIVERS LICENCES FROM EVERYONE BUT OLD PEOPLE

That's right.

If you aren't old, than you're young.

And if you're young, you have time to get places. Why rush? Why risk your life driving?

Let the old people drive with other old people. It would be hilarious to see them all crashing into each other, making walking from place to place that much more fun.

People would be more social.

People would be getting better exercise.

People would be less stressed.

If you're late, you always have an excuse... "Yea, some grandma hit a tree, blocking the sidewalk. Had to make sure she was okay first too."

There would be more trains too. And trains are cool.

Less people driving means less carbon monoxide in the atmosphere, which I don't know what any of those words mean but it's probably a good thing.

Drunk driving? A thing of the past. People would be drunk all the time wandering from place to place, laughing at twenty car pile-ups.

More people walking means more walking-related inventions. Stirring the economy.

If you think about it, everything associated with cars is bad.

More shops would start up, because people walking means people getting tired means people wanting to go inside means people potentially walking into a store and buying something.

More time walking means less time home.

Make the new minimum age to receive a drivers license sixty-five, and lets start building a more friendly community.

HOW TO SAVE THE WORLD 2: FOLLOW WHATEVER AL GORE SAYS TO DO BLINDLY

I don't know how to protect the planet... do you?

Didn't think so. But Al Gore says he does.

So if I just follow whatever Al Gore says to do blindly I can help the earth and not have to think too hard?

Awesome!

I don't quite understand what Al Gore says. But I respect him for saying it. And I know that this is the earth:

And this is the earth without Al Gore:

The correct choice of action seems quite clear to me.

Consider buying "An Inconvenient Truth" on DVD.

I did.

I haven't watched it, but I respect Al Gore for making it.

We're all in this together, Planet Earth.

THE OPTIONAL TAX

Why not, on credit card statements or other money related media, put a few checkboxes?

[ ]- Would you like to add an additional 1% tax that goes directly to schools?

[ ]- Would you like to add an additional 1% tax that goes directly to charity?

[ ]- Would you like to add an additional 1% tax that directly supports the troops?

Because the word "charity" is a misnomer. People should do the right thing and it shouldn't be considered as doing a good thing. It should be considered as doing the right thing. If you can help people you should, and you shouldn't expect a pat on the back for doing it.

If you can't afford it, fine. Don't check the boxes. But if you can afford it, its the easiest way possible to do the right thing.

All you would have to do to help those in need is carry on living your life.